I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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