Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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