In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
