I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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