Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
