It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
