If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
it hurts more in the daytime
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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