yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
