Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
