i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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