the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Drunk is not a location!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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