If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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