They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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