I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
