I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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