I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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