I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
No more Irish car bombs ever.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
