tell your sister to shave her snatch
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
