i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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