I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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