I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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