All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
