Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
