Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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