finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
