I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I wish life had little blips of pornography
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
