So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I wear drunk well.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
