How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Randomize
