i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
