So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You are the jesus of drinking
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
