I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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