mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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