If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
