If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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