I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just want nice things and good sex
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
