I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
