please come you make the beer taste better
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
