is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
