I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
