And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
