my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
