Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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