So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
