When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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