I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
