i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
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