We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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