Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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