You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
