alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
