Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
