is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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