Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
