Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
