even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
