VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
