so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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